The Old, Forgotten Art of Reaching Out
by Helen C
Summary: The obligatory, post Day in the Life, introspection piece. Three 500 words ficlets. Spoilers for Day in the Life, obviously.
1. Part One

**Title** : The Old, Forgotten Art of Reaching Out

**Author** : Helen C.

**Rating** : PG

**Summary** : The obligatory, post _Day in the Life_, introspection piece. Three 500 words ficlets.

**Spoilers** : Everything aired up to now (_A Day in the Life_) is fair game.

**Disclaimer** : The characters and the universe were created and are owned by Ronald D. Moore and Universal Television Studios to name but a few. No money is being made. No copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**AN**. Huge thanks to joey for beta'ing this.

* * *

**The Old, Forgotten Art of Reaching Out**

Helen C.

Part One

Bill looked at his father's law books, carefully preserved in their box. He hadn't had any good reason to take them out of storage before, but today felt like the right day for it. He couldn't forget the smile on Lee's face when they had talked about Lee's visits to his grandfather's office—a stark contrast to the discussion they'd had later in the day.

_I know that's what you want to believe, Dad.  
_  
He looked at the picture still on the table. He had always thought about his marriage as a happier time, despite the fights and the growing resentment his wife felt toward him. He had been so sure that she was giving their kids a good home, a stable life—things he couldn't give them while pursuing his career in the military.

_Did you really think that, Bill?_ Carolanne asked._ Or was it just what you wanted to believe when you left me alone with them? _

He tore his gaze away from the picture at her angry voice.

It looked like he had been sorely mistaken.

_Oh, of course, there were good times, in the beginning_, she said. _Even if it was just for a little while.   
_  
Before he focused on his military career. Before her mood swings and her constant reproaches drove him away from her, from his family.

_Before you abandoned us for the sake of your duty, because the fate of the world was more important than us,_ she snapped, filling a glass with expert hands.

"You _were _my world," he snapped. "You, and Lee and Zak."

His voice echoed in the empty quarters.

_Yes,_ she said after a while, from somewhere behind him. _As long as we were far away from you. But every time someone gets close to you again, Admiral Adama comes in and builds some walls. It's easy to love from a distance, Bill._

He would have loved to protest, but what could he say? Lee was both his son and a man under his command, and Bill had to keep some distance between them for the time being, but that hadn't always been the case. And sure, Lee didn't make it easy on a good day, and good days were few and far between in the Adama family.

He still could have tried harder to reach out to his son, before anger and bitterness made it almost impossible for them to even be in the same room without arguing.

_And then, one day, finally, the apologies even stopped.  
_  
Bill closed his eyes, willing himself to forget Lee's words.

_I can't apologize either, son. I loved her.  
_  
He bent down on his desk and wrote a short note, hoping Lee would understand.

_I love you.  
_  
He called the private waiting outside and ordered him to take the box to his Lee's quarters.

_It's the best I can do, son_. It felt strangely like defeat, and Carolanne's glare from where she was standing, next to his bed, didn't help. _I'm sorry._


	2. Part Two

**Title **: The Old, Forgotten Art of Reaching Out

**Author** : Helen C.

**Rating :** PG

**Summary** : The obligatory, post _Day in the Life_, introspection piece. Three 500 words ficlets.

**Spoilers** : Everything aired up to now (_A Day in the Life_) is fair game.

**Disclaimer** : The characters and the universe were created and are owned by Ronald D. Moore and Universal Television Studios to name but a few. No money is being made. No copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**AN**. Huge thanks to joey for beta'ing this.

* * *

Part Two

"Today was my parents' wedding anniversary," Lee told Ana as they both lay down, much later that day.

The look of surprise on her face, quickly followed by dawning understanding, told him all he needed to know. She had noticed something was off with his father, but she hadn't known why. The old man hadn't made it public knowledge, then. Lee often wondered what the crew at large knew about the Adama family. It had made him uncomfortable at first, to think that these people knew his father better than he did. It was only recently that he had started to notice that they knew the commander a lot better than they did the man.

Of course, Lee, too, knew the commanding officer better than he knew his father—these days, he was starting to accept that it wasn't just his father's fault.

Ana looked at him, worriedly. "Are you okay?"

Lee stared at the now-empty box, the books neatly piled next to it.

_For that day when we all have the time.  
_  
It was the closest thing to reaching out his father could manage, he knew.

He'd be content with it for now.

"Lee?"

"Yeah. I just..."

_I never understood what he saw in her. I never understood what they saw in each other. He loved her and she despised him, Dee.  
_  
Some deep sated urge to protect his family's privacy prevented him from saying it out loud.

His parent's marriage had always been the equivalent of a black hole for all concerned—gravitational forces pulling apart anything and anyone foolish enough to get close to it.

Ana rested her head on his chest, not prying. She rarely did when it came to his parents, just as he didn't push her to talk about her own estranged father, lost in the attacks, along with any hope of ever rekindling a relationship with him.

He could still hear his father's hoarse, "Enough."

He probably shouldn't have said anything, but damn it, it ranked to see his father think about these days as a golden age for them all, to think of her as a good mother.

Lee could still hear the venom in her tone when she talked about her husband, could still see the anger in her eyes as she looked at her two sons—dragging her down, constant reminders of the mistakes she had made. He could still smell the alcohol on her breath when she kissed him goodnight.

He tried not to think about the few last years, when nothing he or Zak did or said could meet her approval, when she barely even tolerated their presence.

He remembered coming home, his heart beating in his ears, remembered Zak's nervous glances toward her passed out form on the couch, and the two of them carrying her to her bed.

They had never talked about it, even then.

Lee's eyes fell on the books again, and he looked away.

_I understand, Dad. But don't ask me to forget._


	3. Part Three

**Title **: The Old, Forgotten Art of Reaching Out

**Author** : Helen C.

**Rating** : PG

**Summary** : The obligatory, post _Day in the Life_, introspection piece. Three 500 words ficlets.

**Spoilers** : Everything aired up to now (_A Day in the Life_) is fair game.

**Disclaimer **: The characters and the universe were created and are owned by Ronald D. Moore and Universal Television Studios to name but a few. No money is being made. No copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**AN.** Huge thanks to joey for beta'ing this.

* * *

Part Three

Lee said, focusing on the wall behind his father, "A journalist came to find me at the bar."

His father looked up from the reports he had been reading—was the life of a commander anything but a pile of reports to read? In hindsight, it was what Lee remembered the most from the Pegasus; endless reports, endless problems to fix.

His father's reaction was characteristically reserved. "Yes?"

Lee sighed. The last thing he wanted to do was getting involved in his father's love life, but the man deserved a warning. "He asked me what I thought about you and the President being involved."

His father's face went from neutral to stormy in a few seconds. "What did you say?"

Lee shrugged, refusing to let the anger in his father's tone deter him. "I said what I always say when a journalist asks me a question I haven't been ordered to answer. I said, 'No comment.'" He had been hard-pressed not to put his fist in the asshole's face, but Ana and Helo had been here, and both of them had shot him warning glances. The last thing they needed was the press turning on the military again.

His father nodded, glared down at his paper as Lee waited awkwardly.

Eventually, his father took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "We're not. Involved."

The fact that he even bothered to say that much, Lee reflected, meant that he was open to the possibility. He shrugged easily. "None of my business."

Their relationship was complicated enough without them getting involved in each other's personal life. Lee would rather just avoid thinking too closely about his father and the president together.

His father frowned as if trying to find the best way to say something. "I can't change the past," he eventually said.

Lee looked away, his jaw clenching. "I'm not asking you to." The following silence prompted him to add, "I just wish you wouldn't remember it as something it wasn't."

_We were never a happy family, Dad. I'm not saying things haven't changed, but back then? We were never the happy family you thought we were.  
_  
It would only hurt his father to hear it, and it wouldn't make Lee feel better to say it.

Some things couldn't be changed or repaired.

"I loved her," his father said.

Lee got that. He loved Kara despite all of her flaws, despite the fact that she had hurt him, and gods knew he didn't understand why.

"And we got you, and Zak, and that's all that matters."

Lee couldn't help looking at his father in surprise at that, noting the anxious look on his face. "Okay," he said. "I..."

_I love you, too. _

As usual, the words stayed stuck in his throat. The two of them just didn't have those kinds of discussions.

Then his father nodded, as if hearing the unspoken words, and Lee smiled, knowing that the message had gone through.

For now, it would have to be enough.

* * *

end 


End file.
